We live in an ever evolving society that is constantly changing how we once looked at things. Like love for example. Love just doesn’t seem to be what it once was nor does intimacy and the statistics show it. Americans who do not have a steady partner have increased by 50% since 1986. So instead of dating or having relationships, more people are single and engage in casual activities instead. What is causing this trend? One main reason I believe is because we live in a “me” society. Everything encourages us to put ourselves and our wants and needs first and well sometimes that just doesn’t leave room for a significant other. And trying to find the “perfect” person to line up with our wants, needs and goals proves itself to be even more challenging so people just don’t deal with the hassle.
Another reason is dating apps. These apps do not care if people find lasting relationships, because if they do then those individuals are no longer using the app and therefore the company isn’t making money. Yes some people do find love on and end up in serious relationships, but more times than not they usually just lead to hookups with no strings attached. Not only are the apps used for that but people are also using them to explore their sexuality without feeling pressured, which in turn again leads to people not having an intimate and steady relationship.
Finally, we view love and intimacy so much differently these days. Look at all the dating shows out there now like 90 Day Fiancé, FBOY Island, Love is Blind and The Bachelor/Bachelorette. I know I’m sure to get some backlash for the last one. But these shows make us believe we can find our true love by some TV set up date or experience. None of these shows allow for true intimacy or wooing of someone to honestly get to know a person and fall in love with them. They’re unrealistic and the majority of the marriages or relationships from the shows fail. That is not the way marriage or relationships are suppose to be. They are meant to be a companionship with real intimacy to create a lasting love.
There are still those out there that believe in intimacy and not the casual fling but we are sadly becoming the minority. We need to get back to the basics and think of what life is really about and I don’t believe that is a lack of intimacy in a relationship.