You’ve probably hears the storyline of the married woman reminiscing about the ”one who got away”. Well, I didn’t want to be her.
Before I married my husband and he was just my boyfriend—my friends, family, anyone who I shared my story with told me to let him go. He cheated on me and I felt as if my entire world collapsed.
My initial decision to end the relationship and move on was reassured through the opinions of others. Here’s the problem with this—my story was one-sided. The advice I received catered to my broken heart rather than providing the constructive criticism on what went wrong.
After breaking up and moving on I realized how much I truly missed him. More importantly, I realized the many mistakes I had made in our relationship. Sure, I never cheated on him but I did negatively impact our relationship in other ways. One of which was name calling. When I was mad or we were arguing I would resort to name calling. It was a rare occurrence for him to participate and name call back. Rather, he was quite calm during disagreements and willing to hear my side. With a bit of self reflection I begun to see where I had damaged our relationship. It didn’t excuse his behavior for cheating but it did open the door to forgiveness.
He actually reached out to me first stating how sorry he was and wanted to try again. Against the advice of those closet to me, I took up his offer and I am so glad I did. It didn’t take long after trying our relationship again for us to get married.
The take away advice is not to solely rely on the advice of others especially if the story you’re sharing with them is one-sided. Do some self reflection before making a decision. And yes, sometimes time apart from a relationship helps you see things more clearly.
However, it is important to note that in some abusive relationships the victim may believe she is doing something wrong leading her to falsely believe the abuse warranted. Please read this post if you suspect you’re in an abusive relationship. If you are in abusive relationship read this post on how to leave safely.
There are also instances in which you and your significant other may be experiencing a life changing event and are unsure how to process it leaving a strain on your relationship. Perhaps a missed period leading to unexpected news on a positive test leaves you or both of you feeling helpless. If that may be the case please reach out to us on our helpline at 844-278-6998. We have call responders that are ready to help you or you and your partner with that specific issue.